what love languages do you speak to God?
pastor Jeff McCourt		 << previous page

Have you read "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman? I have found it tremendously helpful in my own marriage. The thesis is simple: we all speak primarily one of five "languages of love." Success in demonstrating love to a spouse or friend or child is directly related to discovering their love language and using it to express love to them.

I've wondered if those love languages are applicable to our relationship with God. Is there biblical basis for loving God in these ways? If so, can I learn to love Him more and love Him better by speaking them more fluently? It's important. When asked which of the commands was greatest, Jesus replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." If we get this right, we get it all right!

  1. Words of Affirmation is the love language that communicates encouragement, blessing and praise by speaking or writing words. We do this every Sunday morning! The words we sing tell God that He is lovely, gracious, holy, awesome and good. That's great, but does it matter to God?

    Psalm 69:30, 31 says, "Let me shout God's name with a praising song, let me tell His greatness in a prayer of thanks. For God, this is better than oxen on the altar" (The Message). God is pleased when we speak or write words of affirmation to Him. But don't wait until Sunday. When you pray, praise God for who He is before you ask for what you want.

  2. Giving Gifts is a language that God speaks fluently! From the first chapter of the Bible (Genesis 1:29, 30) to the last (Revelation 22:12), God purposefully portrays Himself as the Great Gift Giver! Anthropologists tell us that every known culture has a tradition of gift giving. Why? We are a reflection of the God who created us and He delights in this kind of love.

    In Psalm 96, there are a plethora of verbs describing how we are to ascribe glory to God: sing, praise, proclaim, declare and fear. In the midst of these wonderful acts of worship is this phrase: "Bring an offering (a gift!) and come into His courts.

  3. Have you seen those billboards encouraging you to "groove your body for ten minutes, three times a day?" Down in the corner of the billboard is one simple word: "Do." That word encapsulates the third love language: Acts of Service. Doing the work of the Lord expresses love to Him. Jesus said, "Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me" (John 14:21). Following His commands to feed the hungry, satisfy the thirsty, house the homeless, care for the sick, teach children or use our spiritual gifts to build up the body of Christ are ways we express love to Him through practical acts of service.

  4. It is said that children spell the word "love&sup with four letters: T-I-M-E. So does God! Spending Quality Time with Jesus communicates our love and devotion to Him. Check out these unabashed words of sacred romance from Psalm 84, "My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked." What a passionate expression of longing and desire! A day spent in the presence of God is better than a thousand days doing anything else. This is perhaps the most difficult language for us to speak in our culture of noise and busyness. Silence, solitude, meditation, reflection on God's Word and extended times of prayer are the pathways that take us to rare heights of intimacy with Jesus. He desires this intimacy and longs for us to love Him in this way.

  5. The fifth and last love language is Physical Touch, which immediately begs this question, "If God is spirit, how does this work?" This love language has less to do with actually "touching God" and more to do with exploring and expanding the physical aspects of expressing love to Him. We may be comfortable using our physical voice to sing praise to Him. Most of us are adept at showing joy in the Lord with a physical smile. But the Bible encourages other physical expressions of adoration as well. Psalm 63:4 encourages us to "lift up our hands." Ephesians 3:14 says Paul bowed his knees before the Father. In Ezra 10:1 we see how Ezra expressed love through repentance by crying, weeping and get this, "throwing himself down" on the ground. Though He is spirit, God accepts and desires these physical offerings of love.

I think it was a 70s pick-up line (I was too young to know for sure), but it's still a good question. "How's your love life?" If your love life with Jesus is stale, stagnant or dormant, revitalize your relationship by speaking another language... and then another! Learn a new language and speak it often to your Savior.